Hello?

Is it even possible to post to a blog this old? I guess so.

I’ve been, as most of you who read this (Mom, Ricky) know, a little distracted with a lot of things. But I liked posting here so I’m going to keep doing it. Starting now. A new leaf! Until the next time I stop posting.

So, back on the wagon.

Here’s a carazy video!!!!!!1

Team of Mavericks

All hail Hypno-blog.

So my stats have been pretty good on this blog lately, and I made the mistake of trying to figure out why – apparenty I’ve gotten over 500 hits on my post about F*turama where I posted a picture I found of all the characters drawn a la anime. And since my blog has been updated more recently than the site I got the picture from, it’s now the first site displaying that picture on google image search for “F*turama.”

So people looking for fan art are going straight to that post, and of course, not reading anything else. It’s pretty sad – 500 views isn’t that much, but it accounts for like 99% of my traffic.

I’m depressed.

(By the way, the eyesore graphic above I created myself so it wouldn’t draw any more traffic, and named it “bendy.jpg” just in case. Where’s his other arm? Who knows?

I tried to look for a really bad piece of fan art to put up there instead, but couldn’t find anything stupid enough. But boy did I find a lot of F*turama porn. Why and for whom does that even exist? It boggles my mind.)

Grandmothers

I saw this in the window of the Salvation Army today and it really puzzled me:

Forgive me if I’m in early-morning-crappy-observational-comedy mode, but since when do hearts bloom? I’ve never heard that before. And are roses known for either caring or sharing? If anything, roses bloom, grandmothers care and share, and grandmothers like roses, but that’s about as far as the parallel goes.

I’ve come up with a short list of things that grandmothers and roses do have in common, and if I knew to whom I should send this list to see this poster updated, I would strongly suggest a redesign. But as I don’t, I’ll put my suggestions here (apologies to my own grandmothers, who are amazing, wonderful ladies).

Grandmother

A Grandmother

is like a rose . . .

Always pretty

Always delicate

Always sensitive to abrupt changes in temperature

Always around on Mother’s day

Always photographed in soft focus

Always in a grandmother’s house

Always loving to be involved in the creation of a centerpiece

Always needing water

Always being disrespected by young people

Always with the hidden thorns

Always wild at the park

Always being sent to retirement homes, hospitals and funerals

Always the subject of hushed and guilty conversation regarding when to get rid of them in spite of the obligation to keep them around

Li’l O’Reilly

Wow. Just wow.

This is why my “Comedy?” category has a question mark at the end.

His pause after “France” is comedic genius.

You betcha!

Diebold-ical

The Multi-colored Menace

With all the talk of the economy crisis, the war, global warming and disease, there’s surprisingly little coverage in the media of this terrifying conspiracy.

Drunk Jeff Goldblum Pt. II

You’d think that the lower frequency of posts would yield a higher quality of posts, but no.

Here’s a clip Bill O’Reilly yelling at Geraldo Rivera at half speed. It’s like bears fighting.

I promise I’m going to start posting better and more often. Or I could just send more frequent emails to Ricky, since he’s the only one who reads this.

(I apologize for any action that gives Bill O’Reilly more exposure than he already has, but I figured the good outweighed the bad in this case.

Oh, boy!

This video has captured my heart and fed it two power-up mushrooms and a starman, then set it free to battle against an egg-spitting female dinosaur. My heart won!