Grandmothers

I saw this in the window of the Salvation Army today and it really puzzled me:

Forgive me if I’m in early-morning-crappy-observational-comedy mode, but since when do hearts bloom? I’ve never heard that before. And are roses known for either caring or sharing? If anything, roses bloom, grandmothers care and share, and grandmothers like roses, but that’s about as far as the parallel goes.

I’ve come up with a short list of things that grandmothers and roses do have in common, and if I knew to whom I should send this list to see this poster updated, I would strongly suggest a redesign. But as I don’t, I’ll put my suggestions here (apologies to my own grandmothers, who are amazing, wonderful ladies).

Grandmother

A Grandmother

is like a rose . . .

Always pretty

Always delicate

Always sensitive to abrupt changes in temperature

Always around on Mother’s day

Always photographed in soft focus

Always in a grandmother’s house

Always loving to be involved in the creation of a centerpiece

Always needing water

Always being disrespected by young people

Always with the hidden thorns

Always wild at the park

Always being sent to retirement homes, hospitals and funerals

Always the subject of hushed and guilty conversation regarding when to get rid of them in spite of the obligation to keep them around