I saw this in the window of the Salvation Army today and it really puzzled me:
Forgive me if I’m in early-morning-crappy-observational-comedy mode, but since when do hearts bloom? I’ve never heard that before. And are roses known for either caring or sharing? If anything, roses bloom, grandmothers care and share, and grandmothers like roses, but that’s about as far as the parallel goes.
I’ve come up with a short list of things that grandmothers and roses do have in common, and if I knew to whom I should send this list to see this poster updated, I would strongly suggest a redesign. But as I don’t, I’ll put my suggestions here (apologies to my own grandmothers, who are amazing, wonderful ladies).
Grandmother
A Grandmother
is like a rose . . .
Always pretty
Always delicate
Always sensitive to abrupt changes in temperature
Always around on Mother’s day
Always photographed in soft focus
Always in a grandmother’s house
Always loving to be involved in the creation of a centerpiece
Always needing water
Always being disrespected by young people
Always with the hidden thorns
Always wild at the park
Always being sent to retirement homes, hospitals and funerals
Always the subject of hushed and guilty conversation regarding when to get rid of them in spite of the obligation to keep them around
With all the talk of the economy crisis, the war, global warming and disease, there’s surprisingly little coverage in the media of this terrifying conspiracy.
You’d think that the lower frequency of posts would yield a higher quality of posts, but no.
Here’s a clip Bill O’Reilly yelling at Geraldo Rivera at half speed. It’s like bears fighting.
I promise I’m going to start posting better and more often. Or I could just send more frequent emails to Ricky, since he’s the only one who reads this.
(I apologize for any action that gives Bill O’Reilly more exposure than he already has, but I figured the good outweighed the bad in this case.
I haven’t posted in a really long time. I know that to my huge readership (Ricky) this is a problem that must be corrected. I’ll try to do better in the future.
I think I put too much pressure on myself to put interesting or thoughtful stuff in this blog. What a fool I’ve been! This blog isn’t about thoughtful. This blog is about stupid things I find on the internet.
So until my next attack of conscience, here’s something incredibly isipid: An Apple commercial with Jeff Goldblum, slowed down to 50% its original speed. The result: Drunk Jeff Goldblum!
Hero was born in Korea on Sept.2003,who is The Beatles mania.
As from 2005 he began to sing along for himself and now he can sing most of songs of the Legend and History, The Beatles who is forever idol of the mankind.
AICN has a bit about Mitch Hurwitz’ (of Arrested Development fame) new show going to series on Fox. It’s animated, which is cool.
“Sit Down, Shut Up is based on a live-action sitcom from Australia. The animated U.S. version revolves around the lives of seven staff members at a dysfunctional high school in a small northeastern fishing town. Action centers on faculty members, as their egos and personal agendas trump the students’ needs.”
Sounds like it’s got some potential. I know that during my brief stints teaching I think my ego and personal agendas pretty much always trumped the students’ needs, so it’s on track so far.
Plus, let’s be honest, I’d follow Mitch Hurwitz into a dark cave filled with spiders.
Posted by Alden 
Posted by Alden 
Posted by Alden 